Something Tangible

Ten years of Evangelical Christianity, and add to that three years of Bible institute training, and you come up with disillusionment, spiritual numbness, and just plain hopelessness towards anything concerning God. That’s where I was more than thirty years ago. The doctrine seemed right, and the people were wonderful, but I was not experiencing the things I had learned in church and Bible school, and was even teaching with a certain amount of authority.

Almost daily I told people over the radio that Jesus loves them, and wants to save them. Yet over and again when I closed down the radio station I would find myself weeping on the floor, begging God to do something to change my corrupt ways and desires. The doctrine I espoused, and the way I lived, were two radically disconnected realities.

It got so bad that I became suicidal, finding no solid answers or relief from my turmoil. It was around that time I met the people of the Yellow Deli.

Visiting their homes and gatherings, I found the answers I was looking for. These were answers that brought about real solutions to deep problems. The impact has been, and continues to be, such that I have never regretted for one moment the choice I made to become what it means to be a true disciple of Jesus Christ.

In all the years I was a Christian, this was the first time I heard someone give true, uncompromising authority to the word of God. It penetrated to the deep places in my soul and spirit that I had kept hidden for all those years before. I saw that what was being taught was actually being lived out on a daily basis. The most startling thing of all was that I was invited to stay and see if the life matched the words. I was invited into their private homes to live for the rest of my life, if I so desired.

The fact that I was being loved without conditions by real, live human beings has meant everything to me. Their determination to love me in spite of all my fallen ways has convinced me of the reality of God’s unconditional love. I began to lose my fear of being vulnerable. I could trust these people. Until that time no one had ever offered me all that they have and are. It crystallized out of the doctrinal realm and became practical reality. It’s something that many speak of, but are unable to do. As a result of their love, I am also learning to love in the same way.

Through their example, I am discovering what it really means to forgive people who have done terrible things that they regret, just as much as I regret the terrible things I did, and have been forgiven. Together we provide a place and an environment where forgiveness is tangible, and it’s a daily way of life and interaction.

In the more than thirty years of living this way, I have traveled to many of our communities, both overseas, and here in the United States. What comforts me, and makes me secure, is the fact that in all the places I have gone, I have found the same spirit, vision, and love, regardless of the language or cultural barriers. The signature and stamp of the true Spirit of God, and the life of His Son are clearly seen, even with our many imperfections.

I have never been so thankful for any choice I have made as I am for having chosen this way of life in His Son.

Yochanan Abraham (John Stringer)